Friday, September 21, 2012

Heartbeat Video!!!

I put together the video we have from our last appointment with Dr Boostanfar. In the second half of the video you can see little man moving, watch carefully!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Big Updates!!!

Oh Boy!!! I am very sorry for being so neglectful the last month. Since my last post a lot has happened. Not every one of our appointments went the way we thought they were going to go and while being in such limbo with everything I just couldn't bring myself to post any blogs. So here you go...the last months’ worth of appointments, updates and emotions.

August 2, 2012

Our yolk sac appointment...well it went great!!! I was privileged enough to have the wonderful company of my surro sister and one of my best friends, Danielle. Yes the same Danielle who came to my transfer! She is so amazing, she has taken off work twice for me now so I wouldn't have to go alone...AMAZING! So we make it into the exam room and I undress from the waist down and prepare myself for the weenie wand...oh least the person who does our ultrasounds is a woman, and no offense to men but you just don't know what it feels like cause you don't have the lady doing these exams, you don't know what is too rough and what isn't, lol. This appointment was very special to me, not that the others aren't, but this time was the first time I skyped with Roberto and Mauro. I hadn't seen them since our match meeting in January! It was really great :) As the exam is completed we get the great news that everything is on track and their little guy is forming inside of me :)


Beautiful Yolk Sac!!!

August 14, 2012

Our heartbeat ultrasound came very quickly, which is always a good thing in the beginning!!! This exam went very fast, which I don't particularly like. She found the heartbeat very fast, we heard it for a quick second and that was it. I was able to once again skype during this appointment, but just with Roberto who then recorded the appointment and sent it to Mauro. Little man at this point had a strong heartbeat of 98 bpm which is a great number for your first ultrasound :) 

Little man growing!!! 

August 23, 2012 

7 week appointment :) This was the appointment that made me question my faith. As we are getting through the exam and the measurements for his size are being taken, the doctor is becoming more and more concerned with size. He tells us that he has a great, strong heartbeat at 140 bpm but then won't say anything else. He just says to get dressed and meet him in the conference room to talk about the scan...hmmmm...that can't be good. During this appointment I didn't skype with the guys. The previous appointments were very short and I got VERY overwhelmed with everything going on. I am so lucky and blessed that R and M were ok with me not wanting to skype during the upcoming appointments. As we make it into the conference room the doctor proceeds to tell us that little man is measuring a few days behind which is worrisome. WORRISOME....that's the word you decide to use...hmmm...Needless to say, I was worried. He said he wanted me back in a week for another scan and we would discuss our options from there. I have never felt so sick in my life, because after that news I had to go sit in the car and tell R and M what happened at our appointment. No matter how many times people, doctors and friends tell you that you are doing everything you can and doing everything perfectly and none of it is your fault, you always have doubts that maybe I could have or should have done something different. All that next week I went over in my head EVERYTHING that I did and googled EVERYTHING. I kept thinking that maybe the doctor did the scan wrong or maybe if I had slept 2 more hour a week before that maybe that would have given him the boost he needed to grow. So many thoughts and I can't even imagine how R and M felt. I tried so hard to be calm through our messages and I really hope I was. Being a surrogate is HARD...I have experienced emotions that I NEVER thought I would. Totally worth every one of them but at that point in time when you have news like that, that you then have to share with the IP's is terrifying. Staying calm for everyone else and not being able to freak out is hard. I keep trying to explain to my friends and family that the emotions from this pregnancy are completely different then when I was pregnant with my son. This isn't my baby and I can't just say oh we will try again if something happens...even though I would totally do as many transfers as I would need to for the guys, it is just different. I am put in charge of taking this tiny life and keeping him safe and in the best environment possible for 9 is completely different because unlike myself who can obviously get pregnant naturally, R and M can't...insert ME...and I just can't seem to explain those emotions to people. And so...the week long wait begins...




August 29, 2012

8 week appointment...hold your breath...I sure the exam began I was so nervous...the first thing I did was spot the heartbeat...thank goodness, that's one hurdle for the day....give me good news doc...congrats, little man is now only 2 days behind!!! He has over tripled in size to make this come back :) I cried like a baby when he said those words to me. The feeling of relief doesn't even cover it. I now know that little man is a fighter and we are going to be ok. The doctor wanted me back in another week just to double check his progress and make sure he continues to go in the right direction. Strong heartbeat at 165 bpm :)

September 7, 2012

10 week appointment!!! Exam confirms that little man is now only 1 day behind and the doctor is confident he will catch up 100%! At this appointment we were able to make a video. I will post the video in a different blog post soon. At this appointment Dr. Boostanfar released to to my regular OB!!! And we were given end dates for our meds, woot woot!!! As much as I loved the meds, lol with sarcastic giggle, my meds were not even half as bad as some of the meds other surrogates have to take. I would have done what ever we needed to do to make a baby for R and M but I will admit that my meds rocked...but I got burnt out on them...the side effects from each set were crazy!! But being able to see a light at the end of the meds tunnel is AWESOME!!!

Such an amazing feeling seeing little man on the screen, we even saw him moving around, which you will be able to see on our video :)

What an unbelievable month. So crazy with everything I can't even explain most of my emotions. I am just so happy for Roberto and Mauro :) Thank you for all your patience with me and my lack of blog posts...but I should be pretty regular now!!! Happy reading and happy growing to this little man!!! 


Monday, July 30, 2012

Betas Are IN!!!

Betas are in! I had 2 blood test last week, one on the 25th and one on the 27th. After getting stuck with either a new person or a person who didn't know what he was doing, I went home to wait for the results of the first beta test. I knew we needed something over 25 or all day I kept thinking about that. Please be high, please be high, please be high! Anything that indicates a positive pregnancy. Around 2:45pm I got the results...drum roll please.......131!!! Woot Woot!!! Our first blood test on the 25th was 8 days past our 5 day transfer. That number is amazing!!! Now we play the waiting game again...between the 25th and the 27th my number should double. I went in that morning and requested the guy that I had normally gotten, before the not so good guy on the 25th. As he sits me down and takes my blood, I can't help but get an overwhelming feeling of happiness that we are actually at our second beta test!!! That's a really good thing! With this blood test, they tested for the beta number, my progesterone level and my estrogen level. Time to wait again. Around 3:30pm that day I got the exciting news that my beta number this time is 320!!!! Holy Cow, it more than doubled!!! At the end of that phone call the nurse tells me that they are still waiting on the progesterone and estrogen levels and she will call on Monday...MORE WAITING!!! lol!!! Monday morning rolls around and my estrogen level is at 260! Anything over 200 is good :) My progesterone level is a 6 and they like it to be around a 10. No worries though. They increased my dose to one gel insert, three times a day. The nurse reassured me that this is normal for women who are on the progesterone gel. The levels are not shown on the blood panel as well, so increasing the dose is to ensure that I am truly around a 10. I was so worried that I had done something wrong and that I messed everything up. She said that I was doing everything perfect and this is just to make sure everything is perfect. We are headed in the right direction! And to top it off, we have our first ultrasound on the 2nd of August. This ultrasound will check the yolk sac to make sure everything is developing the way it should be. At this appointment I get to skype with Roberto and Mauro for the first time! I am so excited to see them again, especially since the last time I saw them was when we first met. So much has happened since January! It will be amazing to have them "there" with me! We will all get to see the yolk sac and developing baby for the first time together :) It will be amazing! In my last post I had left you with an open question....did I pee on a stick, lol.....

Yes I Did!!! It was so exciting to send the picture of the clearblue test to Roberto and Mauro :) I didn't send the other two because they are harder to see and I wanted them to see the positive right away and not have any doubts on what the test said! It is so cool being able to look at them and know that there is a baby developing inside of me!

So much excitement !!! I will post our pictures from our first ultrasound later in the week :) Happy reading :)


Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Transfer Video!!!

This is our transfer video! Hope you like it!!!


Oh boy, what a crazy week this has been. I had originally planned on writing this post while I was on bed rest but found that I was overwhelmingly tired. So judgment call, sleep is better! But today, I will share my wonderful transfer experience.

Morning of transfer, well words are hard to find. The feelings that were going on were unbelievable. Like I had said in my last post, I wasn't nervous for me, I was nervous for Roberto and Mauro. I kept wondering if they were going to stay up and wait for me to message them, or if they were nervous or what would happen if something went wrong. As I just finished getting ready to leave, my surro sister and one of best friends arrived to take me down to Encino. As we were driving down we talked about everything under the sun, related to surrogacy of course. What the feeling is going to be like when the baby comes out and I see Roberto and Mauro's faces light up at the first time seeing their new baby. Watching their family grow and the pregnancy experience in general.

When we got to Encino we had planned on getting some lunch at Johnny Rocket's. As we finished up lunch and our first lucky charm dessert, we headed to a mall to walk around and burn off some of the awesome lunch we had just stuffed our faces with :) One of the best parts of having Danielle with me, was she had already experienced everything I was about to. She comforted me and was truly a lucky charm. We loaded up with cookies (not my second dessert, lol) and headed to Huntington Reproductive Clinic.

When we got inside, on time might I add, it felt like a hundred years went by as we waited in the over heated waiting room. I don't know if I was getting warm because of nerves or what...but it was a million degrees in there. While waiting to go back to our room I was sad that Roberto and Mauro couldn't be there. I understood why they couldn't be there, but deep down I was still sad. As we made it back to our room Dr. Boostanfar came in and showed us the amazing embryos that were ready to go. We only transferred told us the Lucky Number 8 was the best one. 

Time to gown up...well I guess it's gown down if it is only from the waist down...right?!!? Everything happened SO fast! Dr. Boostanfar came in and put the speculum thing in, swabbed stuff and without me even knowing or feeling it happen, he said the catheter was in place (in the uterus) and ready to go! He told the nurse we were ready and she went and got the embryologist who brought Lucky Number 8 to us! At that time they injected the wonderful grade A (doesn't get any better then that) baby BOY into my uterus :) We were lucky enough to be able to take pictures and a video of everything (G rated of course)! Dr. Boostanfar ROCKS!!! And I know, I know...I didn't put my lucky rainbow socks on...not only was it really hot, like I already said, but I FORGOT, and was so sad once I figured it least I had them with me though. Instead of seeing the socks, you all now get to see my semi tan, chunka chunk legs, lol!!!

Once everything was transferred he put the progesterone gel around my uterus, removed the speculum and told me to rest there for 30 minutes. EASY RIGHT!!??!! Dr. Boostanfar is such an amazing doctor who has always made me feel at ease with everything. Before he left me grabbed my hand and said good luck and everything will be ok. You know to the best of his ability as well as my own. But at me last appointment before the transfer they had told me that I was doing everything right, I was responding to the meds perfectly and that the odds of a positive transfer and great pregnancy were in my favor. That made me feel better! 

Once the 30 minute rest time was up, we left to head back to Tehachapi. Bed rest for the rest of the day and the two following. Hmmmm...I am a mom of a 3 year old...WHAT DOES BED REST MEAN? LOL!!!! Just kidding, my mom took care of my son that week for me. As we drove home, none of the days events felt real. I can't even really describe how I felt. Happy, excited, nervous, bloated....and so many more feelings rolled into one. Going through Palmdale we stopped to get my favorite cupcake as my second lucky charm dessert. Yum!!! As we were driving home I received a message from the guys, what a great surprise, I even got a picture!!!

Mauro on the left and Roberto on the right. They look so happy and excited! It warmed my heart more then words can explain :) 

As I was on bed rest the day after the transfer, I received the most beautiful flowers from them with a sweet note. Brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face. Being alone for that day, it was really nice to get a gift like that. 

So bed rest went fast, thank goodness. I know not everyone believes in "signs" but the second day I was on bed rest I felt a minor cramp on my right side that lasted about 2 minutes and then my lower back was mega sore for the next couple days. I will take that as a good sign!!! 

As the days have gone by, I have been really hungry...another sign...lets hope so! Each and every day since the transfer I wake up and tell this precious baby boy to hold on tight, we can't wait to meet you and that his daddies love him very much :) It's never to late to let the baby know he is loved!

Before the transfer, and everyday after, my friends have been bugging me about taking a home pregnancy test...DID I???? You will have to wait! But on a side note, today was our first beta test! So we will see what the results are! Happy reading :)


Monday, July 16, 2012

Night Before Transfer

For the last couple days I have watched the clock like a hawk, counting down to our transfer. T-Minus 17 HOURS!!! Every 4 or so hours recalculating and getting more and more excited each time. As tomorrow quickly approaches and I find myself scrabbling to get things ready, I wonder what Roberto and Mauro are feeling right now....are they able to even sleep? Will I be able to sleep? 

My schedule for tomorrow is going to be great. Hopefully one of those days that I will be able to look back on and truly say, "that was one of the best days of my life!" My girlfriend Danielle will be picking me up in the morning at 11am from my house in Tehachapi. Poor thing lives in Palmdale, 40 minutes away from me, in the opposite direction of the doctor's office. I can't drive tomorrow, which is why she is coming all the way out to my house to get me, then back tracking 40 minutes to get back on route to the doctor's office. So we plan on stopping to get lunch once we get to L.A. As soon as lunch is done we will head to the office for our transfer!!! Woot Woot!!! We will document as much as we can tomorrow and I will post my updates through out this week!!! I am so excited! And honestly, after talking with Danielle, I am not nervous any more. She told me to concentrate on myself, be calm and patient, while relaxing and focusing on the embryo getting inside and sticking!!! Let everyone else worry!!! 

Happy reading and please send happy, sticky prayers, vibes and baby making dust our way! I will be thinking our you two, Roberto and Mauro, all night tonight and all day tomorrow! :) Lets make a baby boys!!!



Friday, July 13, 2012

Count Down!

Holy Moly! So I celebrated my 24th birthday yesterday and totally forgot about it until the day before. I have only been thinking about surrogacy stuff, Roberto and Mauro, their egg donor, and basically anything and everything related to our journey. I am not one to look forward to birthdays because growing older kinda freaks me out, lol...yes, yes, I know, I am only 24... :) Still bugs me a little...

So all day yesterday I was thinking about the egg donor. I know NOTHING about her and all I can think about is her. What her journey has been like, how she is feeling and what made her want to donate her eggs. From my prospective I completely understand surrogacy and can't wait to 'bake' this amazing 'bun' for Roberto and Mauro, but I don't understand being an egg donor, probably because the procedure for egg harvesting FREAKS me out. I can handle birth, transfers and everything else that comes with the surrogacy, but not the egg donor She is so brave and I can only imagine what her journey was like. As she sits at home recovering, the rest of us are preparing for the next REALLY big step :) For all I know, her and I have passed in the hall at Dr. Boostanfar's office or talked in the waiting room, so crazy to think about that! I am so great full that this amazing woman has donated her eggs for these two amazing men! 

So, count down has begun, transfer in T-minus 92 Hours!!! Everything is falling into place. My lucky charms are ready, my meds are set up, all of my entertainment needs are ready to go for my bed rest and my WONDERFUL surro sister is taking me to my transfer and bringing me home! She is one of my lucky charms too!!! 

We are so close :)


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

My Meds Video!!!

Here is a video of my meds routine for Roberto and Mauro :) And everyone else! I am not very good at making videos but I hope you can look past that!!! LOL! :D

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

New Calendar

What a great way to wake up and get the day started!!! We have our final cycle calendar!!! Our transfer will be on July 17th :D This is so exciting I don't even know what to say :D For the next week I will be continuing my regular meds of 2 Estrace Pills, 1 Baby Aspirin, 3 Pre Natal Vit, 1 DHA and 3 Folate Pills a day. Tomorrow I stop the Lupron shot and start taking Medrol once a day for 9 days and Doxycline twice a day for 5 days. One is an antibotic and one is an anti inflamatory. The day before the transfer I have to take 2 Aleve and the day of the transfer I take 2 Aleve before the transfer and 2 Aleve after the transfer. SO many meds!!! I will have to create my daily lists to keep them all straight! The day after I stop the Lupron shot I will start the progesterone gel. Later this evening I will put together all of the video clips I recorded of all of my meds!

This is so crazy! Just a short time ago we were driving to Beverly Hills to meet Roberto and Mauro for the first time. Having so many questions run through my mind, what will they think of me, will they like me, will they pick me, how will we communicate, will we feel the same about certain pregnancy related things...and SO MANY MORE!

As we are now just a short week away, I am so excited for the transfer and nervous about everything sticking…but most of all I think I am even more nervous and anxious about finding out the results. I want the first time to stick so back that I think I am over analyzing it. Are these feelings normal? I am even getting a little nauseas thinking about how Roberto and Mauro are feeling.

I have all of my “lucky charms” waiting to go with me to my appointment, so I feel prepared from that prospective.

Got my lucky toe socks in the mail yesterday too! I have one pair for our transfer and delivery and one pair to keep my prego toes happy throughout our pregnancy! I can't decide which pair to wear on Tuesday....hmmmm....maybe I should let Roberto and Mauro pick....I like that idea! Ok guys, which one should I wear on Tuesday???!!!???

So many crazy feelings going on right now :D More later, video too!!!


Monday, July 9, 2012

Ultrasound and Blood Work!

Last Friday I went to my last ultrasound and blood work appointment until our transfer! All is PERFECT!!! My uterus and lining are perfect, both ovaries are shut down and all levels in my blood panel are perfect! I will continue to be on 2 Estrace pills a day along with the Prenatal Vitamin, Baby Aspirin, DHA, Lupron shot and Folate. As soon as Roberto and Mauro's egg donor goes in for the egg retrieval, later this week, I will stop the Lupron and start the Progesterone gel.

Me at our appointment, getting ready for my ultrasound!!! 

Everything is moving so fast now and with each passing day I get more and more excited! 


Tuesday, June 26, 2012

1, 2, 3 Estrace!

So a little over a week ago I started the Estrace pills twice a day. In a previous blog I mentioned that I have been very blessed in the side effect department, but as I started taking the Estrace last week I felt HORRIBLE. Not only was I nauseous but I had really bad headaches the first 3 days, was really tired and generally felt like crap. I kept thinking that I was just going to pass out. I never got any morning sickness with my son, but the way I felt last week, felt like what I would imagine morning sickness is like. BLAH!!!! About mid week I figured out that it was just a stomach bug, THANK GOODNESS!!! No side effects from the Estrace :)

Today, I start taking the Estrace three times a day and that only lasts for a few days. I wish I knew what each med did and why I have to take them in this order and in these amounts, lol....maybe some research will be done! 

Family Vacation!

While I was looking at my cycle calendar last week I realized that in a short 4 weeks we will be doing our transfer! And with all of the busyness of life, we wouldn't be able to take a family vacation for a little bit. Insert Seattle! Coming up to Seattle has calmed my nerves and given me some much needed time to relax, focus and mentally prepare for my upcoming month. Being able to take my son to this wonderful city is such a blessing. We are having so much fun! 

Funny coincidence too, as we were all driving around Sunday afternoon in downtown Seattle, we got to see part of the PRIDE Parade!! The week we got here ended up being PRIDE week! SOOOO cool and unique :) What a blast! And to make it even better, the Saturday after we get home I will be joining my two best surro sisters (who have each helped a set of IF's) at the Antelope Valley's PRIDE Parade! It is going to be so much fun and I cant wait to show my support and have a blast with my girls!!!

Happy reading and I will post again soon!!!


Monday, June 18, 2012

New Meds and the Dreaded Side Effects

Within the last couple weeks I have been on a new meds list that consisted of the following:

1 Baby Aspirin
1 Prenatal Vitamin, 3 times a day
1 Folate, 3 times a day
1 Lupron Injection at the 10 mark

The day after my last appointment I was taken off the BCP and I started an antibiotic. When I started the antibiotic I felt horrible. The Lurpon already made me sleepy during the day and kept me up at night, while the antibiotic upset my stomach and made me ever more tired. I learned very quickly that if I don't do the injection at just the right angle, IT HURTS!!! Now that I have fixed that issue, I am ok with the shot again. Thank goodness the antibiotic was only for 5 days!!! Now that we have made it to the 17th of June my meds changed again!

Today I started Estrodal and the Lupron injection is lowered to the 5 mark. All I can say about the Estrodal is, BOO!!! I was quizzy this morning and either the Estrodal or the combination of meds is making my boobies hurt! TMI, I know, but they HURT! It feels the same as when I was getting my milk supply in before I had my son. Sore and tender :( I know it won't last forever, I just have to keep pushing through!!!

My comments in my blogs are NEVER meant as complaints, a girl just has to vent sometimes and I want to be as detailed as possible! I love my journey so far and I know it is only going to get better!


Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Ultrasounds and Blood Work!!!

The first thing I noticed on my cycle calendar was my appointments for blood work and an ultrasound. I don't know why I noticed that So we have two ultrasounds and 2 blood panels before our transfer. 

I was woken up to my little one very sick. He had a head cold since Saturday that just kept getting worse. As I was keeping my distance and my mom (so generously) was taking care of him for me, I felt so guilty. We wanted me to keep my distance so that I would risk getting sick. I don't want to compromise my immune system before our transfer. Later that say day I called Erik who sounded like he was dieing on the other end of the phone...oh no, he caught the cold :( Later that night after Erik went to bed, around 7:30, I was getting Landen ready for bed so my mom could go rest before taking him for the full day Tuesday. As I came down stairs he kept saying "mommy, baby is sick". Not two minutes later we had projectile vomit everywhere. Boo :( Needless to say, we spent the night on the couch with a bucket. The whole time I was taking care of him and worrying about him, I kept thinking that in just a year or so Roberto and Mauro will be doing the same thing. It brought tears to my eyes thinking about giving them this amazing opportunity to hold barf buckets and clean snot off of their baby's!!! At the time I found it to be very funny and it truly helped me make it through the night :) Luckily it was a bad food bug, not the flu!!!

Ready for my appointment!!! Leaving my sick baby killed me. A mommy never wants to leave her sick baby with someone else :( But leaving him with my mom softened the blow. Dr. Boostanfar's office is in Encino about an hour and 45 minutes from my house. Somehow I made record time and got there 40 minutes early! I have no idea how that happened, but I'm not going to complain :) I have to say, I LOVE DR. BOOSTANFAR!!! He is so kind and gentle. You can tell he really loves his job. He truly puts me at ease and makes me feel so confident about our transfer. He did my ultrasound very quickly and told me that both ovaries had shut down and the lining in my uterus is thinning. That means the Lupron is working!!! Woot Woot!!! All of my blood work came back normal too. GREAT appointment! 

I was given an antibiotic because of a positive culture that was taken a few weeks before. Dr. Boostanfar assured me it was normal and everything was going to be okay. Most women have it but regular doctors and OB-GYN's don't test for it. So I have 6 days of an antibiotic along with the other meds and it will be gone!!! Still scary hearing you have a bacteria that needs to be treated. As Dr. Boostanfar finished up my appointment he interlocked his hands with mine and told me everything is going to be okay and we are going to make a baby. It calmed my nerves and really gave me confidence in him as our doctor. I am so great full that Roberto and Mauro choose Dr. Boostanfar as their/our fertility doctor. I don't know how they decided to use him and I will admit that I LOVE The Little Couple and was WAY excited when I found out he was our doctor. He is even perfect in real life, not just on TV. Good pick guys!! Your surrogate is one happy lady :) Liking your doctor is a big step in any baby making process.

Me after our ultrasound! 

So happy that everything is on schedule and we are SO close to our transfer!!! Next step of meds is right around the corner too!


Side Effects :(

The first night I took the Lupron shot I barely slept. I was so worried about the possible side effects. Nausea, vomiting, headaches, tiredness, insomnia, difficulty breathing, swollen lips, swollen hands, rapid weight gain, OH MY!!! As I tossed and turned all night, I kept thinking I was going to have bad luck and end up with all of the side effects. How horrible would that be?!!? And the funny part is, I NEVER used to worry about side effects, I was/am one of the lucky ones that was blessed with being very adaptable to the meds I take and my environments in general. Why the panic???? 

It is now day 7 of the shot and all I have experienced was some tiredness and mild insomnia. But I am not 100% positive it is because of the Lupron. We will see right!!!! Maybe the panic came from the hormonal changes and the "shut down" of certain body functions. Hmmmm....


Intorducing my IF's

After all of our contract stuff was complete I was contacted directly by my IF's! I was so excited to get that email!!! As I responded back to them I told them about my blog and that I would absolutely love for them to follow it and share it with friends and family so that they could all follow us on this amazing journey from my view point :) I was nervous that they wouldn't want me to be posting what I am doing, I don't know why I was nervous, I just want everything to be perfect. As I nervously waited for their next email, I was relieved to read that they are on board with the blog and are okay now with me "naming" them in my blogs. No more "IF's"!!!! 

I am so excited to introduce Roberto and Mauro, my wonderful IF's :) They are so sweet in their emails to me and I can't wait to make them a baby!!! We are going to have an amazing journey :) :) :) :)



A week ago or so I posted that I was getting ready to start some different meds one of which is the Lupron shot. As I received everything in the mail that morning I proceeded to make my daily check lists so that I don't forget to take anything. From June 7th through June 13th I will be on the following:

1 Prenatal Vitamin
1 Folate
1 Active Birth Control
1 Baby Aspirin
1 Prenatal Vitamin
1 Folate
1 Prenatal Vitamin
1 Folate
1 Lupron Shot at the 10 Mark

What a schedule!!! Every morning I get so excited to start that day of meds....I think it makes me feel like I have total and complete purpose each day. Even if I wake up in a bad mood or my day just isn't going the way it should, I still have purpose and meaning! I know that sounds weird but I love getting up each day to take the meds so that we can hopefully make a baby!!!

LUPRON!!!! So as I got everything ready for my first Lupron shot, I started getting nervous. I went upstairs by myself because I knew that I wouldn't be able to do anything with people watching me. As I prepared the for the injection I was shaking so bad. It probably took me 10 minutes to actually give myself the shot because I had to stop shaking before I could do anything. After the shot was complete I couldn't even get the bio box open to drop the needle in. After it was all done, it really wasn't the bad! I was able to complete everything and I was so proud of myself for truly facing a fear and giving myself a shot!!! All I kept repeating to myself was "You have to do this for your IF's. We are going to make a baby for them so they can have the wonderful experiences with their baby, that you have with Landen. You have to do are going to be okay!" 

Lupron....scary but TOTALLY worth it!!! 


Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Perfect Timing with an Added Bonus!

So as I published my last post, I went to check my email and boy oh boy was that perfect timing! I got my CYCLE CALENDAR!!!! This is the calendar that tells me what meds to take and for how long. It also shows the proposed dates of my transfer!!! As I was reading through this email I was then notified of a new email....can you guess who it was from? Yeppers, my IF's!!! What an awesome day!

As everything came together so quickly I find myself a little overwhelmed. It's in a good way but honestly, I was just absorbing the excitement and nervousness (good again) of signing our contract. The first thing I noticed in our cycle calendar was that I start my meds TOMORROW!!! Holy Cow!!! I am so excited to get pregnant and continue our amazing journey even though everything was put on fast forward, at least in comparison to how things had been moving.

The above pictures are my cycle calendar! I know they are hard to read but they are really just for show, not for actually reading them and understanding them.

I can't believe that I start my Lupron tomorrow :) I listed below what Lupron is:

Lupron acts by suppressing the pituitary gland (the gland which is normally responsible for triggering ovulation). However, before suppression occurs, Lupron will briefly stimulate the pituitary causing an increase in the pituitary hormones LH (luteinizing hormone) and FSH (follicle stimulating hormone). This is called the agonist or flare phase.. If the Lupron is continued, it will eventually stop the pituitary from producing LH and FSH. This is known as the suppression phase.

Since it requires an extended period time to reach the suppression phase, Lupron is usually started a few weeks before starting the other medications needed for a particular treatment. This allows the patient to “get past” the stimulation phase and into the suppression or desensitization phase.

During the suppression phase, spontaneous ovulation will
not occur. You may hear the staff refer to the patient during this phase as being “down-regulated” or "suppressed". This suppression effect will even persist for a few weeks after the Lupron is stopped.

Today, Lupron suppression is used primarily for
frozen embryo transfer cycles and egg donation cycles. Some programs may still use Lupron for fresh IVF cycles.

As of now our potential transfer dates are July 17th, 18th or 19th! We will doing a fresh embryo transfer. The egg donor will go in for the egg retrieval 5 days before I go in for our transfer. Once the eggs are retrieved from her, Dr. Boostanfar will take one of our IF's sperm to fertilize one of the eggs to make our embryo. Some people transfer more then one embryo to increase the chances of a positive transfer but we have decided to only transfer one because we would prefer to only end up with one baby. The chance of a single embryo transfer splitting into identical twins is 2% and I hope we don't fall into the percentile!

Our next step is receiving my meds and starting them tomorrow evening :) I will post our video and give you an update when we are done with the first injection!

Contract Time!

So in my last post I said that our next step was drafting and signing our contract. And I come to you with good news!

While me family and I were in Durango, Colorado for my little brothers high school graduation we received our contract draft to review. After reviewing it and making our necessary adjustments we sent it back and were able to sign it on Monday June 4th! Once the drafting of the contract was started everything fell into place. What a wonderful thing to add to an already wonderful week :) It means so much to me that I will forever remember that week as my little brother's first HUGE milestone in his life as well as our continued journey with our IF's!

Next step is getting our cycle calendar!!!


Friday, May 18, 2012

Getting Everything Ready!

It has been a little while but I have so many exciting updates! I had my medical screening and psychological evaluation at the beginning of April! Boy of boy did I experience some CRAZY things that day. 

My first appointment that day was my medical screening at Dr. Boostanfar's office in Encino. I have had plenty of physicals for school so going into this appointment I figured it would be the same...NOPE! All of my other surrogate girlfriends all had very different screenings so I really didn't know what was going to happen. After filling out more paper work then I ever thought I would fill out at any given time in my life (2 hours worth while talking to doctors and nurses), I was instructed to gown up and get comfy on the exam table. big deal, we have all had to do stuff like this right?!!? As the doctor (female, not Dr, Boostanfar) came in she brought 2 other girls with her. Now why would you need that many people for a physical? Well the doctor did the "procedures", one of the girls handed her tools and the other one was there to "distract me", doctors words, not mine. As the doctor went over the typical physical stuff like checking my lungs, my heart, all of that good stuff, the girl in charge of the tools was opening up some interesting tools. Some I have seen and some looked REALLY SCARY. As the doctor finishes up with me she starts explaining that she is going to do an aqua ultrasound. Basically she does a complete pap and pelvic exam, all of the normal swabbing and testing, then she threaded a catheter into my uterus, removed the speculum and inserted saline solution into my uterus. Let me tell you, that is the CRAZIEST feeling in the world. Not including the 20 minutes of "draining" you get to experience after. After she finishes she removed everything and showed me the ultrasound pictures of all of it happening. Very interesting. It is always good when the doctor says you have a happy uterus!!! While all of these procedures where going on I was instructed to talk to the third girl, who was also on her very first day of work in the would have to say she did a good job distracting me. Well at least as much as one person would be able to, especially while all the fun stuff was happening down below, lol. At the end of my appointment I was exhausted....and still had to drive 40 minutes to get to my psychological!

Gowned up and ready to go!

My Happy Uterus!

As I got to my next appointment I went to the doctors office and she asked very general surrogacy questions. I think it took 20 minutes to talk to her. When she was all done, I thought I was done...hahaha...nope. She led me into a very small room and explains to me that I have to take a computer test. The same one you have to take if you want to be a cop, CIA, FBI, government related jobs. Right before she leaves she says "don't take too long, if you take to long it will time out and you will start over and you don't want to do that". I couldn't help but think, "what's the big deal...?" Well as I start the test I realize that the numbers in the corner of the screen are not an identification number, it's the number of question...almost 600 to be exact. An hour and a half later I finish with VERY little sanity left. I never knew there where so many different ways to be asked if I want to kill myself, have ever thought about killing myself, if I am depressed, and if I have ever thought about hurting someone else. Geez, I thought I was going to go crazy. But I completed everything and was sent on my way! 

Me outside of my second appointment :)

A few weeks later I was contacted by my case agent who told me I had passed everything! I don't mind jumping through these hoops because I am so excited to carry a baby for the wonderful men I call my IF's!!! Next step....CONTRACT!!! Yippie! 


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Where My Story Begins

For the past few days I have racked my brain for different ways to start this blog and I still don't feel like I have a solid place to start, so I figured I would start at the very beginning and work my way through the past year where my journey begins.

February 2011

I had just come home from a very long trip to Colorado, about a month long. I was there helping my mom recover from a fall she had taken in December. She was suffering from memory loss. When I returned home and tried to pick up the pieces to my everyday life I was having some trouble adjusting. I found myself missing little things about having a newborn around especially since my then, 19 month old was far from a newborn and on the brink of becoming a toddler. As my husband started to ask about having another baby I soon realized that having another baby was not what I wanted. Yes, I missed the newborn baby smell and all of the really cute newborn baby stuff but I didn't miss the waking up in the middle of the night, changing countless diapers, having a nursing baby on me the majority of the day and the lack of personal time and space that comes with having a newborn around.

As I started to think about what was "missing" and what I felt I wanted, I came across my pregnancy photos that were taken when I was pregnant with my son. As I flipped through all of these pictures I realized that was what I missed and wanted. I wanted to be PREGNANT!!! When most moms realize  that they miss and want to be pregnant again, they want the baby at the end, lol. NOT ME!!! As I started to think more and more about wanting to be pregnant I remembered the Friends episode where Phoebe carries her brothers triplets for him and his wife. How cool would that be?!!? Right? You get to experience being pregnant again as well as giving another family the opportunity to start their own family, such an amazing gift to be able to give some one! And at the end of the pregnancy you get to go home and sleep, rest and go back to your everyday life.  Sounded pretty great to me!!!

As I kept on going back and forth on whether or not to bring up this semi-crazy idea to my husband I decided to talk to my dad first. My dad has always given me great advise on everything I have ever come to him with, so his advice and guidance was and will always be very important to me. After breaking down, in detail, what I wanted to do he was honestly not very excited about. Not only for the possible health risks that could arise, but I think he was a little jealous that I wanted to have another baby, for someone else, and not another grand baby :) lol. After the conversation with him, I wasn't feeling very guided but knew my dad was, well being a dad and didn't want his baby girl to be harmed in any way, whether it be physical from the pregnancy or the feelings of loss after giving the baby to the IP's.

About a month later my husband came home with a newspaper from his work. On the very last page there was an ad for surrogates. He asked me if I would ever want to do this, and the really funny part is that I hadn't mentioned my thoughts about becoming a surrogate to him yet. I think that's a pretty good "meant to be" sign!!! We talked for a good 2 weeks about the pro's and con's and decided to look at some agencies in the Los Angeles area. I researched agencies for months and felt like I was getting no where with deciding who to apply to...


Starting the applying process was not as easy I thought it was going to be. I went back and forth between 7 different agencies. Making my pro and con list, talking to my husband about it, talking to friends about it and reading countless reviews on each agency. I finally decided to apply to all 7 agencies and see if the application process would make the decision on which agency to go through for me. Like most of us have experienced in our life, REJECTION SUCKS! With in 48 hours I was turned down by 5 out of the 7 agencies (due to what we thought was a miscarriage on my medical record, but it turned out to be an allergic reaction to the birth control pills I was on. Luckily I was eventually able to get the diagnoses terminology changed!). I was so upset that I didn't even know if I wanted to continue. Boy oh boy am I glad i pushed through! A week later I got a confirmation email from Fertility Miracles and another agency! Getting through the application process with both agencies was very different. Fertility Miracles had a few phone interviews as well as an online profile for me to fill out whereas the other agency had the phone interviews, online profile to fill out and an in home interview. By the time we finished getting through our application process with the other agency (done after Fertility Miracles), we had already been sent a profile on a possible IP match from Fertility Miracles. Honestly I did not like going through the application process with two different agencies, especially at the same time, but I think a part of me was always anticipating one or both of them to eventually find something "wrong" with me (there isn't anything wrong with me, but after so much rejection from the other agencies what do you expect!). After looking through the profile that Fertility Miracles sent to me I decided I wanted to meet them! At that point I put the other agency on the back burner until I knew what I wanted to do.

Beginning this journey has been such an up and down process. Luckily it has gotten better and I can't wait for everything to get going :)


Saturday, February 11, 2012

Common Surrogacy Acronyms

Before I get started with my journey through my blog, I figured it would be helpful and beneficial to list some common surrogacy acronyms for you!!!

BCP - Birth Control Pills
Beta - Blood test for pregnancy hormones
BFN - Big Fat Negative (on a pregnancy test)
BFP - Big Fat Positive (on a pregnancy test)
ED - Egg Donor
xdp5dt - # of days past 5 day embryo transfer
EDD - Estimated Due Date
EP - Estrogen Pill(s)
GS - Gestational Surrogate
HPT - Home Pregnancy Test
IF - Intended Father(s)
IP - Intended Parent(s)
IVF - In Vitro Fertilization
LS - Lupron Shot
OB - Obstetrician
PS - Progesterone Suppositories (hormone the is administered through insertion into the vagina)
RE - Reproductive Endocrinologist
SM - Surrogate Mother
U/S - Ultrasound

As I go through posting my blogs, I will update this list for you to make sure it is updated so that as you read through my blogs, you know what I am talking about!!!